A Final Fantasy Chibi Christmas
by Drake Clawfang
Summary: The FF7 chibi gang sits on Santa's lap! Hojo wants a science kit, Yuffie has a long list, and Cloud wants to know why he can't have two girlfriends. And that's not even getting into what Sephiroth wants for Christmas...


**Ah, what would a Christmas here on be without my annual Christmas one-shot? A Final Fantasy one this year, since I've gotten into them.** **Surprisingly, the hardest part of this story was making sure the dialogue fit the characters, since they're all kids. It's been a while since I've heard little kids speak, but I think I got it right.**

A Final Fantasy Chibi Christmas

"Ho ho ho, alright, run along, I'll get you that dollhouse for sure!" Santa laughed. The little girl on his lap hopped off and ran to her father, and Santa waved his hand at the line of waiting children. "Alright, who's next?" he boomed. A man and his son stepped up from the line. The son had on wiry glasses with a white jacket and dark jeans.

"Hello," the boy said, climbing onto Santa's knee.

"And who are you?" Santa asked.

"I'm Thomas, but everyone calls me by my last name; Hojo," the boy replied.

"Well Hojo, what would you like for Christmas?" Santa said.

"A science kit!" Hojo's eyes flashed behind his glasses, and he grinned. "I saw a science kit ad in a magazine that can turn someone's skin blue!"

"Oh, you going to try it for fun?" Santa asked, not entirely sure Hojo had the right idea behind his gift.

"Yes, and then I'm going to pour it into my dad's bubble bath," Hojo snickered, holding a hand to his mouth.

"Hojo, you can't treat your parents like that," Santa scolded.

"Why not, I treat my friends like that," Hojo shrugged. "Last year I turned my neighbor's hair bright red. Genesis looked so funny!"

"Well that's not nice Hojo, it's not much fun for them."

"But it's fun for me," Hojo replied.

"What about your friends?"

"It all washes out, the boxes say non-toxic!" Hojo protested. "I read all the labels like my dad taught me!"

"And do you listen to what the labels say?"

"Uuuuuh…sometimes."

"Hm. I'll make you a deal Hojo. I'll bring you a science kit, but you have to promise not to do any experiments on anyone unless they say it's ok. Deal?" Santa said.

"Awww…." Hojo crossed his arms. "Okay, fine." Santa didn't notice he had his fingers crossed under his arms.

"Good. Time for your picture! Say cheese!" Hojo and Santa turned to the camera as a female elf readied it.

"Sulpheric acid!" Hojo smiled. Santa gave him an odd look as the camera flashed, and Hojo jumped down and ran to his father. Santa let out a breath. A little girl in a green tank top and orange pants stepped up in the line, her father standing behind her with a black coat.

"Hi!" she chirped, hopping onto Santa's knee. Santa brightened up. Ah, a more normal child this time.

"What's your name, little girl?"

"Yuffie," she said.

"How old are you, Yuffie?"

"I'm seven."

"And what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asked. Yuffie thought.

"Um…I got a list." Yuffie reached into her pocket and withdrew a roll of paper, unfurling it. Santa looked down as it piled slightly on the floor.

"Yuffie, I told you not to bring that!" her father called the line. Yuffie turned and stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to Santa and reading from the list.

"I want a Ninja Turtle and a Game Boy and a new pair of shorts and a hairclip and an art kit and a computer and-"

"Hold on Yuffie," Santa said, placing his glove on Yuffie's small hands. "You know, I have to give gifts to children all over the world, right?"

"Yup!" Yuffie nodded.

"But, if I give you so many gifts, I won't have any left for anyone else, right?" Santa asked. Yuffie thought.

"So?" she shrugged. Santa cleared his throat and blinked.

"I don't think that's fair to everyone else, don't you? Would it be nice for you to get a lot of gifts, and all your friends to get none?"

"Well….no, I guess not," Yuffie's shoulders slumped.

"Oh, don't feel bad Yuffie. I'll tell you what, you tell me what gift you want most, and I'll be sure you get it, and once everyone else has gotten their gifts, I'll give you whatever's left."

"REALLY?" Yuffie cried, her eyes widening

"You bet," Santa winked. "So, what do you want most?" Yuffie looked down at her list and picked it back up, looking down at the bottom.

"Uuuuhhh….oh!" she turned the list to show Santa. "A marble set!"

"A marble set?" Santa asked, looking at the list where the gift had been written in large crayon.

"Yeah, this kid at school has one, he got all kinds of really colorful marbles, really big too, he plays with them at recess. I want some of my own, the really big and colorful ones!" Yuffie said.

"Alright Yuffie, you can be sure you'll get some of your own on Christmas," Santa said. "Smile for your picture!" Yuffie turned to the camera and grinned as the woman in the elf costume snapped the camera.

"Bye Santa!" Yuffie hopped down to the floor and ran to her father. The two moved away, and Santa looked at the line. A boy with brushed black hair and a blue jacket walked up to him.

"Hi," the boy said, smiling.

"What's your name?" Santa asked.

"Reeve," the boy said.

"And what would you like for Christmas?" Reeve reached into his pocket, and Santa blanched at the thought of another list. To his relief, Reeve just pulled out a folded up piece of paper and held it out to him. Santa took the paper, unfolded it and looked at it. It was a clipping from a magazine.

"A robotic…cat?" Santa asked.

"Computerized Animal Intelligence Technology!" Reeve declared. "I saw it in a magazine! I want it because my mom says we can't have a real cat because my dad is allergic."

"Hm," Santa nodded. "So, what does…um…what was it called?"

"Computerized Animal Intelligence Technology," Reeve repeated. "I dunno what that means though, the magazines call it CAIT."

"Well then Reeve, what does CAIT do?"

"It does _everything_!" Reeve said, lighting up. "It can walk and its eyes light up and it even talks! It has a voice…thingie…um…mom?" Reeve turned to his parents in line, and his mother came up to him. "What does the voice thing do again?"

"It records your voice so it can play it back later," his mother explained, speaking more to Santa than to Reeve.

"Yeah, that's it!" Reeve nodded. "Plus it lets you use a speaker to listen to other people. I wanna use it to…" Reeve trailed off and looked at his mother. She sighed and walked back to join his father.

"I want to use it to spy on my sister," Reeve whispered to Santa. "She always sneaks into my room and takes my stuff. My mom says I just lose it, but I wanna use CAIT to spy on her and catch her."

"You won't use it to spy on anyone else, right?" Santa asked carefully.

"No…well, maybe if they're mean to me too," Reeve decided. "But my mom taught me it's not nice to spy on people, so I'm only gonna spy on people who aren't nice to me."

"Alright then, I'll see what I can do about CAIT, okay?" Santa said, deciding that was enough.

"Thank you!" Reeve smiled brightly up at Santa as the camera flashed.

"Goodbye Reeve!" Santa waved as Reeve jumped down and ran back to his parents. Behind him, a little girl and her father stepped onto the platform. Santa patted his knee, and the girl walked up to him. She had on a white T-shirt with a small black jacket and black pants.

"And what's your name?" Santa asked as she climbed on his lap.

"Um…Tiffany," the girl said shyly. "But my friends call me Tifa."

"Alright then, how old are you Tifa?"

"I'm nine."

"You're a big girl!" Santa chuckled. "So, what do you want for Christmas Tifa?"

"Karate lessons!" Tifa cried. "All the boys in my class make fun of me and say I'm weak because I'm a girl! I wanna show them I'm not!"

"Well, that's not nice. Why do they make fun of you?"

"Because I got teased by a boy in gym. We were playing dodge ball, and he said I couldn't play it right because I was a girl. I got really mad and threw the ball at him, and I missed, so the class says I'm a weak little girl now."

"So you want the karate lessons to prove you're strong then, hm?"

"Yeah, so I can go back to school after Christmas and beat him up," Tifa scowled.

"Tifa, you can't do that," Santa scolded. Tifa looked up at him innocently.

"Why not, he beats up the other kids," she protested.

"Oh, well, ah," Santa stuttered, caught off guard. "I can see why you'd want to get him back. But you can't just beat up people you don't like Tifa, because then no one will like you."

"Well…yeah, I guess, but he's always so mean!" Tifa protested.

"Then the next time he's mean, you tell your teacher, and if he doesn't stop, tell your daddy, okay?" Santa asked.

"Okay. But, if I can't beat him up, can I get a different gift?" Tifa asked.

"Sure you can, what is it?"

"Um…it's a little bit of a secret," Tifa said, holding a hand up to her mouth. Santa leaned down and Tifa leaned up to his ear. "There's this boy in my class that's really cool, no one _ever_ beats him up. He's got spiky hair and always picks me to be on his team. The next time I play with him, can you try and make sure I win, I don't wanna make him mad by losing again."

"Oh, I know exactly who you mean. No problem at all," Santa nodded, leaning back. "And even if you don't want those karate lessons, I'll be sure to bring you lots of other great gifts, alright?"

"Thanks!" Tifa beamed, turning to the camera. It flashed, and Tifa climbed down to the floor.

"Bye Tifa!" Santa waved. Tifa ran back to the line with her father, and the girl behind her smiled at her as her mother led her onto the platform. The girl had long brown hair tied up in a braid, and a pink T-shirt with a red jacket and light blue pants.

"Hi!" the girl said cheerfully, running up to Santa.

"And you are?"

"I'm Aerith," the girl smiled.

"And what do you want for Christmas Aerith?" Santa asked.

"Well…I kinda feel bad about it," Aerith whispered, looking down at her boots. "I really love my mommy, but…"

"But what?" Santa said. Aerith looked up.

"She's not my real mommy. She said I was…uh…adept."

"You mean adopted?"

"Yeah, so she says that I have another mommy somewhere," Aerith said. "I love my mommy, I don't care if she's not my real mommy or not. But if I have another mommy somewhere, I want to know why she's not here helping my other mommy take care of me."

"Oh, I see," Santa nodded. "You want to know what happened to your mommy, that she's not around."

"Yeah," Aerith nodded. "I don't really want any gifts…well, okay, I want all kinds of gifts, but I really want to open them with both mommies if I can, I don't care what I get."

"I'll see what I can do," Santa sighed, patting her on the back. "I'm sure wherever she is, your other mommy loves you just as much as your mommy now does."

"I know," Aerith said brightly. "Thank you Santa." The camera flashed, and Aerith climbed down from Santa's lap. Santa sighed as Aerith walked over to Tifa and her father, and the two walked away. He turned back to the line to see a mother looking behind her.

"Who's next?" Santa asked. The mother sighed and stepped aside to reveal a boy in a black jacket with blue jeans and a dark hood pulled over his face.

"Go on honey, it's your turn," the mother urged.

"Are they gone?" the boy asked.

"Yes, they left," the mother said. The boy nodded and pulled down his hood as he walked up to Santa, revealing spiky blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"And you are?" Santa asked as the boy sat on his lap.

"I'm Cloud," the boy said.

"Well, what would you like for Christmas this year, Cloud?"

"I want a ring," Cloud replied. "I saw a really cool ring in a store last week with a wolf head on it. I want three, one for me and two for my girlfriend."

"Oh, you have a girlfriend, how nice!" Santa cried, surprised such a young boy had a girlfriend. "Who is she?" Cloud lifted a hand and pointed. Santa followed his finger to where Aerith and Tifa were looking through a pet store window at some puppies.

"Ah, they were here just before you!" Santa said.

"That's why I had my hood up," Cloud shrugged.

"So which one of them is your girlfriend?" Santa asked. Cloud got a confused look on his face.

"Which one?" he replied. "They both are." Santa frowned.

"Cloud…this is very important," he said seriously. "You know you're only supposed to have one girlfriend, right?"

"Huh?" Cloud said. "I can't be friends with them?"

"Well, of course you can be friends, but you can only have one girlfriend."

"But they're girls, and they're both my friends, that makes them my girlfriends, right? My mom said she was friends with my dad, then she was his girlfriend, then he gave her a pretty ring one day and she was really happy. That's why I want the rings, to give to them."

"I…don't quite think, you're understanding what your mom means," Santa said slowly. "Cloud, just because a girl is your friend, doesn't mean she's your girlfriend, okay?"

"What's the difference?" Cloud asked, confused. "Why can't I have two girlfriends, they both like me, I like both of them."

"Well, you can have lots of friends who _are_ girls," Santa tried to explain. "But a girlfriend is a very special friend. A girlfriend is a girl who you…um…kiss," Santa settled on. Cloud thought for a moment, then his face lit up.

"Ooooooooooh, I know what kissing is!" he said. "So I have to kiss someone before they're my girlfriend?"

"Something like that," Santa muttered, suddenly feeling tired. "But it's very important you only kiss one of them, alright? You can only have one girlfriend, Cloud."

"Why?"

"Well usually when you have two girlfriends, they get jealous of each other."

"Nah, Tifa and Aerith said they don't mind if I'm their friend, they're friends with each other too," Cloud said. "Hey, does that mean they're girlfriends too? Do Aerith and Tifa have to kiss each other now?"

"Cloud," Santa sighed, patting the boy on the back. "I think this is something your mother should explain to you when you're a bit older."

"Okay. Can I still get the three rings though?"

"Sure thing."

"Awesome!" Cloud grinned brightly as the camera flashed. He jumped down and ran to his mother, and Santa waited while the elf assistant at the camera handed Cloud his photo. Santa waved the elf forward, and leaned in. "Jenny, after this kid I'm going on break, these kids are getting weirder by the minute," he whispered.

"I heard," Jenny nodded. "Don't worry, how much worse can they get?" she replied. Santa nodded and sat back, then looked back at the line as Jenny went back to her post.

"One more child, then Santa has to take a break," he said. The next child in line stepped onto the platform and walked towards him. The boy looked older than the other kids, maybe eleven or twelve, with a long black jacket, a black sweater and long silver hair. He sat on Santa's lap and crossed his arms.

"And what's your name?" Santa asked. The boy turned green eyes up at him.

"I know you're not the real Santa," he muttered. Santa sputtered for a moment. "There's no way one guy can be in all the malls at once. Mother says you're just a helper, right?" the boy finished.

"Yes, exactly, but don't tell them," Santa replied, putting a finger to his lips.

"Hmph, alright. My name is Sephiroth."

"Hm, any last name there, Sephiroth?"

"Not that you need to know."

Santa fidgeted slightly at the frosty reception from Sephiroth, and took a breath. He had dealt with bizarre children before, he had been trained to do this after all.

"What would you like for Christmas, Sephiroth?" he asked.

"A sword," Sephiroth replied.

"Um…why would you want a sword?" Santa asked nervously.

"Because I am going to kill my mother," Sephiroth said. Santa's eyes bulged, and he coughed into his hand.

"Um…you shouldn't kill your mother," he muttered, looking at the parents waiting in line nervously.

"She has it coming," Sephiroth explained. "Look what she did to me!" Sephiroth pulled his jacket off and turned his back to Santa. "Lift up my shirt," he ordered. Watching him carefully, Santa peeled up Sephiroth's black sweater to see a large, half-finished tattoo across his back.

"What is that? An angel?" he asked.

"It's an angel with only one wing!" Sephiroth scowled. "A friend of my father's gave me a free tattoo for my birthday last month. I was getting an angel, but mother found out and stopped him before he could finish it. Now it looks stupid, she ruined my birthday present!"

"Well you shouldn't kill her, Sephiroth," Santa said seriously. "Besides, the tattoo doesn't look all that bad." Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and looked over his shoulder.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, it looks pretty cool, unique and special," Santa nodded. "Besides, being special is the best thing in the world, and this tattoo certainly makes you special." Sephiroth got a far off look in his eye.

"I've always felt that I was different from the other kids. Special, in some way," he murmured.

"Uh…yeah," Santa mumbled. _"He's _very _special", _he thought. "So how about you don't kill your mother, alright?"

"Can I kill someone else then? There's a really annoying girl with brown hair at my school."

"Please don't kill her either."

"You're no fun," Sephiroth pouted, crossing his arms. "Fine, just bring me a trenchcoat and we got a deal."

"Great," Santa groaned. "Time for the picture." Sephiroth turned to the camera and smiled wickedly.

"Grin, fat boy," he whispered. Santa's eyes went wide as the camera flashed.

**Merry Christmas, everybody!**


End file.
